Breaking Buzz: "Liquid Gold & Gloved Madness — Hidden Footage from the Extraction Zone"
A Beatrix Buzzwing Exclusive — From Hivemind Tonight - Watch on YouTube by click here
Beatrix Buzzwing reporting live from the clover-covered trenches of Sector Nectar-9.
Today, we bring you EXCLUSIVE, slightly-shaky but absolutely juicy hidden footage leaked by an anonymous forager bee, codename: “Goldenlegs.” This footage gives us a rare, behind-the-wax look into the Post-Extraction Rituals of The Human (also known to some as “Erik the White-Gloved”).
The video which can be seen on what humans call YouTube, which may or may not have been shot from behind a slightly sticky daffodil, shows Erik perched like a royal drone on a blue stool, locked in what appears to be a trance-like bottling ceremony. In front of him? Two stacked 5-gallon monoliths jugs of pure honeyed mayhem. The top jug sports a mysterious spigot, clearly designed by humans to mock our own precision engineering.
With one gloved hand (tight gloves, why tho?), he opens the spigot, and suddenly, BAM! Liquid Gold pours forth like nectar from the sun goddess herself.
He holds a glass jar (an artificial hexagon, if you will) underneath, and get this: he jiggles it up and down like it’s a game?! Is this entertainment? A ritual? A sad attempt to impress any nearby queen bees?
We don’t know. We may never know.
But he does it three times — each time filling the jar with meticulous chaos, then ceremoniously plugging it with what looks like... a tiny wooden cork? Is this to keep us out? Or just to flex?
At one point, he pours a small offering of honey into a white glass bowl, then just… wipes the outside of the jars like he’s cleaning a trophy. Sir. You already stole it. Now you’re polishing it too?
Each jar is then lovingly tucked into a brown box labeled “12-1/2 Honey,” which could mean 12 bottles... or possibly a time unit in human measurement. Again, we’re not certified in Human Math.
Later that day (as witnessed by “Goldenlegs,” though she was chased off by a sudden gust of wind), Erik unboxed the jars, slapped stickers on them, shrink-wrapped the corks with heat like some kind of sorcery, and then, and this is where things got weird, he sticks a wooden stick to the bottle. We assume it’s a... snack? A weapon? Or maybe a status symbol for particularly elite jars?
We asked three bees and a wasp what it meant. All said “I don’t Know.”
Is this just bottling? Is this some kind of honey worship? Is Erik actually part of a secret cult that worships bees but also doesn’t want to admit it?
All we know is this:
The honey is ours…
The methods are questionable…
And the gloves? Far too tight.
We’ll continue monitoring The Human’s strange rituals. Until then, keep your wings clean, your antennae up, and remember: you saw it here first.
I’m Beatrix Buzzwing, and this has been your official Beeport. Stay sticky, my friends.
